Six Degrees of Separation

Recently, I pondered this concept in relation to domestic violence.  At its best, the phrase “six degrees of separation” engenders a sense of humanity.  If we are all connected in some way, it stands to reason we will treat each other with respect and kindness.  But six degrees of separation in our recent experience reminds us that the prevalence and severity of domestic violence also connects us to each other.

Here at Next Door, we have been eerily connected to three women who were murdered as the result of domestic violence.  Of course, our work centers on tragedy, that is essence of domestic violence.  But this recent phenomenon touched us in a new and different way.

Jennifer Schipsi was a client of Next Door Solution to Domestic Violence.  Paul Zumot, her batterer, was found guilty of her murder in the first degree and arson.  The effects of this murder rippled through Jennifer’s world, the world of her friends and family and the Next Door’s world of family and friends.  All of those touched became connected.

On the day after the jury announced the Zumot verdict, another article appeared in the Mercury News. Melanie Dunn had been found dead in her bed in her parents’ home.  She died as the result of a stab wound.  Her former boyfriend is on trial for her murder.  One of our wonderful interns knew Melanie well.  She mourns Melanie’s death.  As does Next Door, and Melanie’s friends and family, and their friends and families.  We are now all connected through her death.

This past Saturday, Susan Longdon and her estranged husband were found dead in their home.  Susan died of blunt force trauma to the head and he died of a bullet wound to his head.  All indications point to murder/suicide.  As it turns out, Susan worked for a company that also employs a member of our board of directors.  The employees of the company and their families and friends are now connected to our families and friends as we all mourn the violent death of Susan.

The connections in the three incidents are profound.   Of course the most obvious connection in this “six degrees of separation” formula is that all three women were leaving or had left their relationship.  It happens so frequently that researchers have a name for it – separation violence. The women probably didn’t know each other.  They were different ages and races.  But they are forever involuntarily bonded.

We all know women who are battered.  For most of us, it is not difficult to identify how we know these women and for the women directly affected, they are bonded together through their horrendous experience.  People say domestic violence is a private family matter and it’s a shame when it ends in death.  Fact of the matter is that we are all less than six degrees of separation when it comes to domestic violence.  Our entire community feels the blows and hears the vicious name calling.  We just don’t stand back and connect the dots.  We don’t look at the cumulative effect.

That is where our connection and humanity come into play.  We can connect the six degrees of separation in eliminating and preventing domestic violence.  In fact because we all experience this phenomenon in some way, we can’t make changes without our community coming together.  We can send this blog to family and friends and their families and friends and ask everyone to learn about, talk about, and act upon this vicious yet insidious social malady.  If you want to give this a try, call us.  We are, after all, within just six degrees of separation.

-Kathleen Krenek

The Verdict

Friday February 11, 2011

Yesterday marked a day unlike any other for the family and friends of Jennifer Schipsi who was cut down in the prime of her life by Bulos “Paul” Zumot October 15, 2009.  Yesterday the jury in Zumot’s trial came back with a verdict of Murder in the First Degree and Arson.   It was bittersweet.  As Jennifer’s aunt Dee Towner said “Jennifer still won’t wake up tomorrow.”    However because a jury of his peers confirmed what family and friends already knew, it was also validating.

I rarely use the word evil but that is the only term that came to mind as we all discovered his diabolic plot to end the life of someone who got in his way.  Paul testified.  His testimony left me chilled.  Although his attempts at cover up were futile, watching him justify and minimize his abuse and at times try to convince the jury that Jennifer never minded his name calling, obsessive contacts and threats was insightful.  He is truly a batterer in all the ways we have learned batterers behave.

Over the course of the past 16 months I watched as an imperfect system with many disparate parts and rigid legal standards searched to find justice for an unjust act.   A judge, a team of prosecutors and defense attorneys, witnesses for both sides and a jury of Paul’s peers intensely played out their roles without pause.  The process was ugly and painful but in the end justice won out.  The jury took their role very seriously.  I commend them for their due diligence.  The judge was knowledgeable and respectful.

Charles Gillingham, an incredibly skillful prosecutor led the jury on the difficult and tedious journey into the mind of a person who plotted out an unthinkable and horrific act against the person he purported to love.  Deputy DA (DDA) Gillingham spent more than 16 months piecing together Paul Zumot’s thoughts, intentions and actions before, during and after he murdered Jennifer Schipsi.  DDA Gillingham was brilliant.  His closing remarks to the jury were filled with facts and feelings.  It was easy to see that he was invested in this case.  He spoke for Jennifer as no one else could.  Jennifer believed Paul would kill her.  Now the world knows he did.  Jennifer can rest in peace now.  Paul Zumot will not hurt another woman.  He will spend his days knowing he didn’t get away with murder.

Unfortunately the slight reprieve did not last long.  Opening this morning’s paper I read that a woman was stabbed to death and another strangled.  More than likely, the perpetrators were their current or former partners.  When, as a community, do we say enough?  We can’t keep losing women to unspeakable acts of terrorism.  When will we understand that this form of terrorism is as destructive for society as national and international terrorism?  We urgently need answers as a community and nation.  We can’t wait any longer.

Justice Prevailed Today

February 22,2010

Today was a good day for justice.  Today was a good day for the Schipsi family, relatives, friends and the Santa Clara community.  It could not have come soon enough.  Fragile hearts were on the line.  Today the judge ruled on whether to allow Bulos (Paul) Zumont to post bail.  He has been charged with the first-degree murder of Jennifer Schipsi, a warm, generous and loving woman whose life was cut down in a violent act.  Today, the prosecutor revealed a small glimpse into the kind of man that is on trial for the murder of Jennifer.

Today we found out that Paul was arrested and convicted of a domestic violence related offense in Washington State in 1994.  While in CA, Paul added another two convictions for domestic violence related crimes against Jennifer.  In fact, he was on probation for domestic violence at the time of Jennifer’s murder.   We also learned that police found the human growth hormone in his home during the search of his property.  By his own admission, Paul was using the drug.  This drug is known to cause aggressive behavior.  Today we were reminded that domestic violence breeds in families.  While on the stand testifying in Paul’s defense, his sister acknowledged being a victim of domestic violence.  I sensed it was something that slipped out.  She blurted it out in the context of domestic violence not being a “big deal”.

I felt great sadness for this woman.  Even at this point in our history, some women and men continue to hold on to the notion that domestic violence is part of life, “no big deal”. It’s a no big deal that robs a person of her soul, her spirit and chips away at her ability to believe in anyone ever again.  It strips a person of trust and joy.  Yet, it’s no big deal.  Some small good could come from this horrible ordeal.  Perhaps Paul’s sister will find that domestic violence is a big deal, that no one should have to live a life in fear of another human being.  It is unacceptable and people who beat up other people in the name of love must be held accountable and face consequences.

Perhaps if when Paul hurt Jennifer the first time, his family would have expressed their disapproval and refused to collude with Paul, perhaps we would not need to sit in this courtroom. If when he turned to them for protection, they would have said, no you must face the consequences.  We will still love you but you must stop this behavior.

Today I witnessed the connection between his family’s tacit approval of his prior bad behavior and his action in court.  While sitting down at the defense table, Paul raised his middle finger in an offensive gesture directed at the mother of the slain victim.  He smirked.  Does Paul believe he will never face consequences; that he can walk through life shredding the lives of others and not pay for his deeds?  Is that what he learned from his family?

If so, today Paul had a rude awakening.  Today the judge denied his bail request.  Today, justice was served and it’s just the beginning.  If you would like to attend hearings and support the Schipsi family, please email me at kkrenek@nextdoor.org.

A Family’s Agony

January 28, 2010

Last week, Bulos (Paul) Zumont pled not guilty to charges of first degree murder and arson in the murder of Jennifer Schipsi in mid October 2009.   A probation violation charge will be added later.  His probation stems from an earlier conviction on domestic violence.  Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence provided services to Jennifer and grieve the loss of her life.

In an effort to support Jennifer’s family, our staff and volunteers attend criminal hearings in this matter.  My personal attendance has given me an intimate view of the grief experienced by a family that has lost a loved one to domestic violence.  Often in reading the newspaper about violent deaths, I feel empathy but I go about my business of living, with all the messes and joy life can bring.  This time is different.  I am witnessing the effects of murder.

The criminal justice system is cold and harsh at best.  Comfort for families of murder victims is not the first priority.  Their job is to get to the truth, which often brings ugly revelations.  The prosecutor in this case, Charles Gillingham is top notch.  He is professional and forthcoming. You sense that he knows what he is doing.  Unfortunately, what he has to report is gruesome.  He cannot sugarcoat the truth.

But another truth exists.  This family is in agony.  They look like lost souls not knowing what will happen next to exacerbate their grief.  For the family of a murder victim new, fresh pain comes constantly.  It must be unbearable.  As I watch the prosecutor discuss aspects of the case, I see the pins family members wear.  Jennifer’s smiling face on the pin reminds us that she was not just a murder victim; she was a vibrant, loving and giving person.  The juxtaposition of hearing the grotesque details of her death while looking at the face on the pin is heart wrenching.  Watching the expressions on the faces of family members provide the missing link.

If Zumont is found guilty of murder, another charge should be added to the list of charges against him – theft.  When Paul Zumont killed Jennifer, he stole a piece of her mother, father, aunts and uncles.  He stole a piece from friends and he stole a piece from our community.  No one will be the same, certainly not the family nor friends or even those of us who provide services to victims of domestic violence and their children.

This trial will expose the devastation of domestic violence.  Unfortunately, it won’t be unusual to us.  We see it day after day at Next Door.  Now the community needs to see it as well.  We made a commitment to raise the shades in homes where domestic violence wreaks havoc on people.  We cannot go back and roll them down.  Bringing light to the issue, as difficult as it is, sanitizes the space.  Light helps us to assess the damage and correct it.  Ultimately, we will be a better community for it.

We need your help to bring the light to this case.  We want to pack the courtroom in honor of Jennifer, bear witness to her life and demonstrate support for the family.  We cannot do this alone. Please email me at kkrenek@nextdoor.org if you can help.

Courtroom Drama

January 22, 2010

In the coming months you will be reading many posts authored by me about the murder trial of Jennifer Schipsi.  I will attend many of the hearings and the trial of Bulos (Paul) Zumont, who is charged with murder in the first degree and arson.  Allegedly Zumont killed Jennifer (whom he lived with at the time) and then set fire to the house in Palo Alto.  The court case moved to San Jose from Palo Alto for security reasons and as the trial goes on, I hope to provide you with a glimpse of the good, bad and ugly side of the criminal justice system.

I rarely sit in courtrooms these days.  It is a frustrating experience, however, everyone in our community should observe how the criminal justice system works at least once.  We would be better-informed voters when electing or re-electing judges.  I am indeed discouraged by what I witnessed in the Honorable Douglas Southard’s court in Palo Alto on three occasions.  It was disorganized and unprofessional.  No one seemed to know what he or she was doing.  Judge Southard didn’t have control of the activities nor did he seem to care.  Both time spent on paper work unavailability, and attorneys not presenting themselves in a timely manner waste our taxes.  Judge Southard engaged more in casual conversations with attorneys than getting to the business of running a courtroom.

The Zumont case brought tension and stress to the courtroom.  Supporters on both sides felt distress and anger.  The defendant didn’t help when he walked into the courtroom, still in shackles and gave thumbs up and a wink to his supporters.  It took too long for the judge to act on the defendants inappropriate behaviors.  At the last hearing date in Palo Alto last week, Judge Southard gave what I thought was an offensive and demeaning mini-lecture to those in attendance.  He indicated that people could not come to his courtroom wearing colors and waving banners like a football game.  No one carried a banner and the “colors” were purple ribbons worn unassumingly by Jennifer’s friends and family.  To liken the actions of both Jennifer’s and Zumont supporters to that of fans of football teams trivialized and minimized this case.  Emotions were raw and pain greatly felt, obviously as Jennifer’s mother said in the courtroom: “I just buried my daughter”.  One could expect demonstrations of anger and pain like this when each side must sit inside a small courtroom together.

Judge Southard could have stated that respect for the court system must persist even though the situation was painful for all.  And then, Judge Southard could have heeded the calling himself and conducted business in his court with the sense of decorum and respect that he was asking of others and that this court case and tragedy deserve.

For the latest on the case, click here.

Another Tragedy Strikes our Community

I was horrified when I opened this morning’s newspaper to find another victim of domestic violence murdered.  In this case, Bulos “Paul” Zumot was arrested for the murder of Jennifer Schipsi in Palo Alto.  When I learned the deceased secured services from our agency, it became even more personal.  We at Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence are grieving her loss. From what I can piece together by reading news articles, a few thoughts come to mind.

To refer to the killing as an “act of passion” defies logic.  Passion is defined as “warm and excited feeling likely to be fitful or short-lived (the ardor of their honeymoon soon faded)”.  Most people would not apply this term to a calculated, pre-meditated act of murder.  This was not Romeo and Juliet or a tragic opera.  This is a perpetrator who stalked, abused and battered his partner.  Decades past, killing your wife “in the heat of passion” could give you a finding of innocent by a jury precisely because we associated the murder with passion.   We left that era, thank God.  We now know that domestic violence is coercive control exercised by one member to gain power over an intimate partner.  It is calculated, well-thought out and purposeful.  In my 24 years in this work I have never heard a victim refer to her abuse as filled with passion.

Secondly, I think we must be careful in how we portray the deceased.   We don’t know why a reconciliation occurred.  However, she is not at fault for trusting a person who professed love.  If anything, it is a reminder of the complexity of domestic violence.  Our focus must be on the perpetrator. Instead of  asking “Why did she go back?” we must ask “Why would someone so severely hurt the person who loves him?”

Please call or blog the Palo Alto Police Department and express your dismay about using the term “passion” when describing domestic violence. The Palo Alto Police Department number is (650) 329-2413.  And if you have enough energy, please add a comment about not blaming the victim to the article published in the San Jose Mercury News under the title “Boyfriend arrested in connection with woman’s death in Palo Alto fire,” posted October 20, 2009.

(Image from Austin for Iran via Google Images).