Making History Takes Time

March 3, 2010

A dear friend and wise woman gave me this sage advice many years ago as I expressed my frustration with how long it is taking to reduce and ultimately end domestic violence.  I often use this as a mantra when I see our reception area fill up on a daily basis.  I have been working with the issue of domestic violence since April 1985.  When I began, it was legal to beat your wife/partner with impunity in over half the states in this country.  It is now illegal in all states.  All states have some form of restraining order system and emergency shelters.  Some might argue that these efforts represent band-aids, not remedies.  I would not disagree.

However, one way to gauge progress is in the public’s tolerance for domestic violence.  This past weekend the New York Times broke a news story about New York Governor David Patterson.  Apparently and allegedly, the governor instructed staff to intervene in a domestic violence case where one of his closest aides allegedly physically abused his girlfriend.  The Governor himself also intervened.  The victim did not present in court some say because of the governor’s intervention on behalf of the perpetrator several times including the night before court.

In December 2009, New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate was convicted of domestic violence after a video found him dragging his girlfriend out of their apartment.  Allegedly, he cut her face with a knife requiring 20 stitches.  Both incidents caused uproars calling for resignations.  Ten years ago, silence would prevail.  Twenty years ago, both abusers would have been told to take a walk around the block and cool off.  The victims would have received lectures from law enforcement instructing them to be better partners.   Both instances demonstrate what we already know, that domestic violence happens in every corner of our society – the rich, poor, middle class; unemployed, blue collar, white collar and yes, even in political circles.

I applaud New York City law enforcement for their diligence in arresting the senator.  I also commend the informant at the New York Times regarding the Governor’s involvement in the cover up.  Maybe, the “good ole boys systems” that collude with batterers and hide these heinous crimes is dissolving.  Maybe domestic violence is newsworthy.  Maybe the systems put in place a couple of decades ago worked–two careers may be lost as consequences of their involvement in domestic violence incidents.

Granted, I’m not naïve.  Political opportunists will use any tool to unseat their opponent.  They may even go home and hurt their own partner after giving a searing and public rebuke of the offending one’s bad deed.  Somehow, though I will take this as progress.  At least our issue is worth using as a political ping-pong ball.  There was a time in our not-too-distant past where this issue would not have even raised an eyebrow.  Making history does indeed take time but I think we are seeing history in the making.