Jean Sloan – Volunteer Extraordinaire!
This month’s special volunteer honoree is Jean Sloan. Jean has been an integral part of the Next Door family since 2009. As a Next Door Neighbor, Next Door’s most valued volunteer group, Jean has helped Next Door provide the physical items that Shelter victims and their children need after fleeing sudden and sometimes life-threatening abuse. By collecting items for which Next Door doesn’t have direct funding, such as socks, underwear, diapers, and other much needed toiletries and personal care items, Jean helps Next Door clients make a smoother transition from abuse to freedom. While these items are often taken for granted, they are important in boosting client self-esteem and bringing normalcy and dignity back to a very difficult situation.
In addition to securing items for shelter residents and domestic violence victims and their children, Jean supports fundraising functions within the organization. Jean, along with other Next Door Neighbors, has been an integral supporter and participant in the Vino & Vistas Fundraiser, the Shelter Open House, and the Holiday Boutique. By volunteering at these events and securing auction items, Jean has helped Next Door raise funding that helps us end domestic violence in the moment and for all time.
Jean has also helped spread awareness of Next Door’s mission to end domestic violence by introducing our agency to other individuals and corporations like Xilinx, her employer, which share a common desire to provide safety and life resources for victims of domestic violence and their children. By extending her network, Next Door is able to share its mission with others and provide greater support for those in need—and we couldn’t do this without Jean’s support and energy.
Jean balances her enthusiasm for volunteerism at Next Door with her successful career as the Global Purchasing and Travel Manager for Xilinx, a corporation at the forefront of the semiconductor industry.
Jean, for all that you have done to further the goals of Next Door and to help victims and their children who need help, we are eternally grateful to you!
Iran Still Stoning Women for Adultery?
As of this writing, Sakineh Mohammadie Ashtiani, age 43 and mother of two children, was slated to be buried up to her chest so Iranian men could throw medium sized rocks at her as a punishment for alleged adultery, a ritual act called stoning. After international pressure, the Iranian government has decided not to stone her to death. They have, however, said that she still may be executed by hanging.
Sakineh’s story is unique and then again common. Sakineh has been in prison since May 2006, when she was convicted of adultery. She was sentenced to a punishment of 99 lashes, which has already been carried out. She was forced to confess to adultery after receiving the 99 lashes, which she received in front of her children. She later retracted that confession. Later that year she was accused of murdering her husband. Those charges were dropped, but an inquiry into the adultery charge was reopened. Two of the five judges found absolutely no evidence of adultery but the other three judges used a legal loophole called “judicial knowledge,” which permits judges to make decisions based on their personal feelings, regardless of actual evidence. Sakineh also may have suffered from a language barrier, since she speaks Turkish, not Farsi.
According to Amnesty International, the majority of individuals put to death by stoning are women. Under Sharia law in Iran, a woman’s death by stoning involves being buried up to the neck and having stones hurled at her head. The law even specifies the size of the stones: not so big that the victim dies quickly, but not so small that death takes an inordinately long time. For Adultery to be proven, Iranian law dictates that two men or four women must witness that act of adultery. Moreover, if one is able to free themselves during the stoning, that person may go free; however, while a woman is buried up to her chest, a man is only buried up to his waist, obviously making it easier for a man to avoid death after committing adultery.
Human rights activists have been pushing the Islamic government to abolish stoning, arguing that women are not treated equally before the law in Iran and are especially vulnerable in the judicial system. Activists also say that in the past when pressure is put on the Iranian government to choose not to stone women to death, they have commuted the death sentence. Sakineh’s son and daughter, despite having written to the court pleading for their mother’s life, up until July 9 had received little if any hope that their mother’s life will be saved. On July 9, the Iranian government said they would not stone her to death, though they still might execute her by hanging. In response, we ask that everyone raise your voice. Sign the petition. Post on Facebook and Twitter. Call our elected leaders. We can not tolerate inequality and we can not tolerate the unjust execution of women.
Here is a letter from her children, asking the people of the world to protest this horror.
You can also learn more and sign the petition to stop her barbaric execution.
Also, you can join the Facebook Page dedicated to this issue.
We are Women! We are Life! Event
SOMOS MAYFAIR AND NEXT DOOR SOLUTIONS TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Present a night of theater and dialogue:
¡We are Women!
¡We are Life!
Friday May 28, 2010 from 6:00- 8:00 pm
at the Mayfair Community Center
2039 Kammerer Ave. San Jose CA 95116
In English
In Spanish
Health Care Reform – Where are Women’s Needs Met?
April 15, 2010
In the overall health care reform, I am relieved to learn that sexual assault and domestic violence cannot be used as “pre-existing conditions” anymore. The practice had carried a chilling message of continued silence– which allowed the carnage carried on at home to remain in the home. However, and I know this may be hard to imagine, but I think Congress largely ignored women’s needs in the overall health care reform debate because the extent of consideration surrounding women’s needs amounted to continued control over our bodies and choices.
As I listened to the debate, I was reminded of the threat women seem to pose to the larger societal structure. Apparently, by opening the health care reform discussion, Congress provided an opportunity for legislation to deny our basic right to reproductive health and justice. The venom spewed around the media about “baby-killing” and the attempts to give insurance carriers to right to refuse coverage of birth control while reimbursing for Viagra was painful just to hear.
When the debate heated up and the bill looked doomed unless the restrictions to our rights were inserted, women’s health needs became dispensable. Women became invisible again. Maybe we had never stopped being dispensable for even progressive legislators dropped our right to reproductive justice. And, justifications for this negligence flew everywhere. I noticed legislators rolling their patronizing eyes when we wanted to fight the exclusions. Afterall, “why couldn’t women take one for the team?” they implied. And, that makes me wonder, whose team? Are we not equals? Where else can a non-medical group legislate a legal medical procedure? Is it just coincidence that this procedure involves women’s choice in reproductive decision making?
I naively believed that our fight for basic rights was over. After fighting for reproductive justice for so long, I thought we could move on. I was wrong, but I’m tired. Young women and men must take up the battle with passion and vigor. This is an emergent issue. If we can’t get recognition from a Democratic president and a Democratic Congress, can we realistically depend on them? Sadly, I don’t’ think so. How can we take this issue to the streets and make our struggle for reproductive justice a priority? I would love to hear suggestions.
Half the Sky
March 25, 2010
In reading Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof’s and Sheryl Wudunn’s new book about tragic and empowering stories of women around the world, I am flabbergasted at the level and vast tolerance and perpetuation of violence against women. It takes so many forms, some subtle, some brutal, but all devastating to the physical and emotional status of women and their chances for empowerment. While not always taking the brutal forms that it takes in other parts of the world, such as the way rape is almost a standard protocol in the Eastern Congo, the tolerance of violence against women allows women to be subjugated in many forms here in the United States too. From reproductive rights to the lack of health insurance coverage of women who have been victims of domestic violence, violence against women is seen not just in the unfortunate result of a domestic abuse incident. The violence is seen as an intergenerational seed that propagates the potential for poor health and bad choices for future generations that may not have the resiliency to cope with everyday challenges, thus perpetuating a cycle of violence and self-destruction.
Half the Sky, however, shows what a little effort can do for women in dire straits. A microloan to a woman in east Africa, for example, can tap into the previously untapped will, entrepreneurial spirit, gumption, and tenacity of women who can and do have a major impact in their communities. Expanding access to educational opportunities and capital, we can catalyze a new generation of women who can perpetuate a new cycle of healthy generations to come. The book implies that violent communities stem from unequal communities; unbalanced gender dynamics create instability, war, poverty, injustice and worse. In response, don’t we all out it to ourselves to help establish, even if in small bits, gender equality wherever possible? Don’t we owe it to everyone to help women become healthy, productive participants in our society? In so doing, we create balance; we create equality; we sustain peace in the homes and in our communities.
Vino & Vistas Registration Extended Through Thursday May 13!
Please join us for the Annual Vino & Vistas Event, sponsored by the Silicon Valley Business Travel Association. Vino & Vistas will take place May 14, 2010 from 6pm to 9pm at the Summit Center Downtown. Performance artist David Garibaldi will perform. Guests will be able to indulge in wine-themed Spa Mini Treatments by AcquaCures and Preston Wynne Spa. There will also be a silent and live auction. Ticket are $99 per person, which includes mouth-watering appetizers, unlimited wine tasting, and entertainment. Half of the proceeds from this event benefit Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence.
Click on the image below to register for the event!
Making History Takes Time
March 3, 2010
A dear friend and wise woman gave me this sage advice many years ago as I expressed my frustration with how long it is taking to reduce and ultimately end domestic violence. I often use this as a mantra when I see our reception area fill up on a daily basis. I have been working with the issue of domestic violence since April 1985. When I began, it was legal to beat your wife/partner with impunity in over half the states in this country. It is now illegal in all states. All states have some form of restraining order system and emergency shelters. Some might argue that these efforts represent band-aids, not remedies. I would not disagree.
However, one way to gauge progress is in the public’s tolerance for domestic violence. This past weekend the New York Times broke a news story about New York Governor David Patterson. Apparently and allegedly, the governor instructed staff to intervene in a domestic violence case where one of his closest aides allegedly physically abused his girlfriend. The Governor himself also intervened. The victim did not present in court some say because of the governor’s intervention on behalf of the perpetrator several times including the night before court.
In December 2009, New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate was convicted of domestic violence after a video found him dragging his girlfriend out of their apartment. Allegedly, he cut her face with a knife requiring 20 stitches. Both incidents caused uproars calling for resignations. Ten years ago, silence would prevail. Twenty years ago, both abusers would have been told to take a walk around the block and cool off. The victims would have received lectures from law enforcement instructing them to be better partners. Both instances demonstrate what we already know, that domestic violence happens in every corner of our society – the rich, poor, middle class; unemployed, blue collar, white collar and yes, even in political circles.
I applaud New York City law enforcement for their diligence in arresting the senator. I also commend the informant at the New York Times regarding the Governor’s involvement in the cover up. Maybe, the “good ole boys systems” that collude with batterers and hide these heinous crimes is dissolving. Maybe domestic violence is newsworthy. Maybe the systems put in place a couple of decades ago worked–two careers may be lost as consequences of their involvement in domestic violence incidents.
Granted, I’m not naïve. Political opportunists will use any tool to unseat their opponent. They may even go home and hurt their own partner after giving a searing and public rebuke of the offending one’s bad deed. Somehow, though I will take this as progress. At least our issue is worth using as a political ping-pong ball. There was a time in our not-too-distant past where this issue would not have even raised an eyebrow. Making history does indeed take time but I think we are seeing history in the making.
Justice Prevailed Today
February 22,2010
Today was a good day for justice. Today was a good day for the Schipsi family, relatives, friends and the Santa Clara community. It could not have come soon enough. Fragile hearts were on the line. Today the judge ruled on whether to allow Bulos (Paul) Zumont to post bail. He has been charged with the first-degree murder of Jennifer Schipsi, a warm, generous and loving woman whose life was cut down in a violent act. Today, the prosecutor revealed a small glimpse into the kind of man that is on trial for the murder of Jennifer.
Today we found out that Paul was arrested and convicted of a domestic violence related offense in Washington State in 1994. While in CA, Paul added another two convictions for domestic violence related crimes against Jennifer. In fact, he was on probation for domestic violence at the time of Jennifer’s murder. We also learned that police found the human growth hormone in his home during the search of his property. By his own admission, Paul was using the drug. This drug is known to cause aggressive behavior. Today we were reminded that domestic violence breeds in families. While on the stand testifying in Paul’s defense, his sister acknowledged being a victim of domestic violence. I sensed it was something that slipped out. She blurted it out in the context of domestic violence not being a “big deal”.
I felt great sadness for this woman. Even at this point in our history, some women and men continue to hold on to the notion that domestic violence is part of life, “no big deal”. It’s a no big deal that robs a person of her soul, her spirit and chips away at her ability to believe in anyone ever again. It strips a person of trust and joy. Yet, it’s no big deal. Some small good could come from this horrible ordeal. Perhaps Paul’s sister will find that domestic violence is a big deal, that no one should have to live a life in fear of another human being. It is unacceptable and people who beat up other people in the name of love must be held accountable and face consequences.
Perhaps if when Paul hurt Jennifer the first time, his family would have expressed their disapproval and refused to collude with Paul, perhaps we would not need to sit in this courtroom. If when he turned to them for protection, they would have said, no you must face the consequences. We will still love you but you must stop this behavior.
Today I witnessed the connection between his family’s tacit approval of his prior bad behavior and his action in court. While sitting down at the defense table, Paul raised his middle finger in an offensive gesture directed at the mother of the slain victim. He smirked. Does Paul believe he will never face consequences; that he can walk through life shredding the lives of others and not pay for his deeds? Is that what he learned from his family?
If so, today Paul had a rude awakening. Today the judge denied his bail request. Today, justice was served and it’s just the beginning. If you would like to attend hearings and support the Schipsi family, please email me at kkrenek@nextdoor.org.
Is Prostitution a Choice?
February 10, 2010
I am currently reading the book “Half the Sky” by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. In the first few chapters, the authors cover forced prostitution and sex trafficking particularly of very young women. They frequently note that adult women choose the lifestyle and therefore are not in greatest need of assistance (paraphrased). First let me state that I really like the book. It has exceptional stories of women rising from the ashes and using their horrific experience to contribute to the greater good. On the whole, the book’s stories remind me that we are survivors. I also agree that childhood sex trafficking is abhorrent.
So you might ask “what is my problem?” Well, I want to explore the proposition that women choose prostitution. For some women, prostitution is a choice. But based on what? I believe the word choice is a misnomer. I think it is the result of the mainstream economic system’s deliberate (and successful) maneuvers to keep women from engaging in and benefiting from the established labor force in a meaningful way.
I parallel this to the mainstream economic effort to keep African Americans from participation. It would seem that we have an entire underground economic system in our country for them that exists primarily as a substitute to achieve economic sufficiency and attain wealth. It exists because African Americans have been systematically denied access to mainstream industry.
The problem with both alternatives lies in their danger. Selling drugs, other contraband and prostitution are a means to an end. These industries mimic “above ground” business in many ways however, except that violence is part and parcel of these industries and embedded in the rules of the game. Both underground economic systems wear on the psyche and body. Prostitution is dangerous at best. Incidence of substance abuse and sexually transmitted infection are much higher in the population of prostitutes. Physical abuse is the norm. Likewise, our prisons are full of participants of this underground economic system. In the end, death and imprisonment are the risks of this game.
If the need to maintain this alternative economic system suddenly disappeared and the doors to Wall Street and Main Street opened equitably to accommodate all, would those engaged in dangerous and risky activities choose the alternative systems? So…back to my original question, when we say prostitution is a choice, I ask you, is it really?
A Family’s Agony
January 28, 2010
Last week, Bulos (Paul) Zumont pled not guilty to charges of first degree murder and arson in the murder of Jennifer Schipsi in mid October 2009. A probation violation charge will be added later. His probation stems from an earlier conviction on domestic violence. Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence provided services to Jennifer and grieve the loss of her life.
In an effort to support Jennifer’s family, our staff and volunteers attend criminal hearings in this matter. My personal attendance has given me an intimate view of the grief experienced by a family that has lost a loved one to domestic violence. Often in reading the newspaper about violent deaths, I feel empathy but I go about my business of living, with all the messes and joy life can bring. This time is different. I am witnessing the effects of murder.
The criminal justice system is cold and harsh at best. Comfort for families of murder victims is not the first priority. Their job is to get to the truth, which often brings ugly revelations. The prosecutor in this case, Charles Gillingham is top notch. He is professional and forthcoming. You sense that he knows what he is doing. Unfortunately, what he has to report is gruesome. He cannot sugarcoat the truth.
But another truth exists. This family is in agony. They look like lost souls not knowing what will happen next to exacerbate their grief. For the family of a murder victim new, fresh pain comes constantly. It must be unbearable. As I watch the prosecutor discuss aspects of the case, I see the pins family members wear. Jennifer’s smiling face on the pin reminds us that she was not just a murder victim; she was a vibrant, loving and giving person. The juxtaposition of hearing the grotesque details of her death while looking at the face on the pin is heart wrenching. Watching the expressions on the faces of family members provide the missing link.
If Zumont is found guilty of murder, another charge should be added to the list of charges against him – theft. When Paul Zumont killed Jennifer, he stole a piece of her mother, father, aunts and uncles. He stole a piece from friends and he stole a piece from our community. No one will be the same, certainly not the family nor friends or even those of us who provide services to victims of domestic violence and their children.
This trial will expose the devastation of domestic violence. Unfortunately, it won’t be unusual to us. We see it day after day at Next Door. Now the community needs to see it as well. We made a commitment to raise the shades in homes where domestic violence wreaks havoc on people. We cannot go back and roll them down. Bringing light to the issue, as difficult as it is, sanitizes the space. Light helps us to assess the damage and correct it. Ultimately, we will be a better community for it.
We need your help to bring the light to this case. We want to pack the courtroom in honor of Jennifer, bear witness to her life and demonstrate support for the family. We cannot do this alone. Please email me at kkrenek@nextdoor.org if you can help.